(This article is being written after a wild infusion of euphoria courtesy the mighty University of Calcutta. It should be noted that I still haven’t gotten my mark sheet, so I’m yet not completely, positively, entirely sure about the validity of the marks declared today, but hoping it is correct, let me begin…)
I fucking love CU! I mean, I have indeed been surprised before in my life! Quite a few times, to be frank, and I’m only listing the pleasant surprises here… but this is something (as a friend of mine would put it) ‘too good’!
My 1st paper was crap! Worse than crap! Lousier than crap… crappier than crap! And I couldn’t have expected anything remotely more than 50 (my calculations… vicious calculations- said I’d get 40 or 42.) My 2nd paper, even after the disaster that was the 1st, was relatively better. I mean, better like “something that can fetch me a 60”, but you see, having heard about the tendencies of the CU examiners, I was banking on somewhere around 55!
So (at best) I was getting (50+55) 105, I guess! But somewhere down the line, things started falling apart! People speculating, calculating, manipulating, predicting and advertising the impertinence of the CU examiners, I was quite sure I’d get something barely around a 100. Would be lucky to get a 100, frankly!
And then this inconceivable delay… I mean, I’ve been used to getting quick results… a bad habit garnered by associations with the I.S.C.E. board for the last 14 years! And all of a sudden, it’s a little unnerving to get results after four months!! I mean, I have even forgotten how the exam hall at Bhaggu looked like (I remember the air-conditioning, though! Seriously, if you wanna give exams, Bhaggu is THE place!)
Now, I was pretty sure that I was gonna get fucking bad marks in this exam, but at the same time, wasn’t too concerned, seriously! I mean, the worst things that would’ve happened had I gotten less than 100, or less than 80, or whatever, was the reaction from mom. She would’ve gotten real sentimental, and then would’ve indicted me for spending so many hours in front of the PC, going off to the movie theatres every once in a while… wasting my time reading stupid story books and stuff… she’s still saying I would’ve gotten the first class had I studied a little harder, and I daresay she’s right!
But in any case, I wasn’t too concerned before I got to the college! Yesterday’s fruitless venture into college had only resulted in heartbreak (god, this year is full of heartbreaks!) and today, I was sure the results were gonna come out… and the 1st person I meet in college is that oversmart and overconfident guy from the first day who seemed to find me invisible, and no doubt I follow the same tactic… and he told me he’d been instructed to tell everyone to gather at a particular classroom, and I said okay… well, he later congratulated me too… so I guess he’s not all that bad! He’s sporting, at least! Something I sometimes fail to be!
Anyways, we waited at a desolate corridor, scattered and seated on the steps… as we waited, with bated breath, for the results to arrive! I decided to take a bypass and kinda sat away from my friends, and listened to (mostly) The Killers… their song Human, whose real meaning still eludes me, sounded almost new to me as I interpreted it for the zillionth time… and this time, the phrase “Are we human, or are we dancer” told me that we the people are expected to behave in a certain way in certain situations, and so the question, “are we human, or are we dancer (to someone else’s tune!)”. You see, I was thinking crap, but it kinda let me be cool and composed outwardly and I must’ve looked ‘I don’t give much of a damn!’ coz I figured that by delaying the results, CU and our revered teachers were simply trying to make us dance to their tunes… they wanted us to worry our heads out, and I’m such a fucking lousy dancer, I was not gonna dance, was I?
So as we entered the classroom, and we got seated, the teachers started declaring the marks, and it didn’t help my nerves when I heard the other marks! I was roll 25 and it started from 12, I guess! And there were 80, 85, 86, a 111, a 123, a 60… and then… roll 025: 118!
Ya, I couldn’t believe my ears. But not letting go of the cool guy game I was playing, I tried to look almost disappointed as I stood up to confirm my marks… yes, it is 118! As the others stared, I managed a slightly disappointed look, for missing 1st class by two marks… but hell I was dancing inside!!! Yes, we are dancers: you expect us to dance when we get marks beyond what we might’ve remotely expected, and you dance!! I love to dance!!
Well, only two guys got 1st class… one of them being my good friend Pushan… but for some crazy reason, none of the girls managed 1st classes! But, you see, my good friend Durba had some registration complications and so didn’t get to know her marks today! I can bet she’ll get a 1st class, I really hope she does! Several people couldn’t manage to qualify for honors, and that sucks! And several didn’t get marks they had expected to… and that sucks too… but I got (at least for now… I know I still haven’t gotten the marksheet!) more than I expected, and frankly, that doesn’t suck! CU rockssss!!!!
Do I feel bad for cursing CU like that yesterday??
Guess not… but hey, CU… Thanks…
And don’t fuck up my marksheet!!
Signing Off,
-Jagannath (Jesse)
1 comment:
Nive!! Fun!! Congrats, once again....Don't forget the treat(as if i eat soo much!!!)..By the way, did I tell you that I like your subtle ironies...They appear vey well thought..
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