Jan. 02, ’08: Many of my friends tend to make plans in the holiday season. Of course, it’s nothing unusual. The 25th, 31st and the 1st day of January, the standard days to have a ball! Well, I’m all for it if it’s Christmas and the last day of the year. But I excuse myself from being a part of any plans that falls on the first day of the year. The excuses I tend to make are quite resourceful, since I have a Ph.D. in the art of making convincing excuses.
Anyways, the reason why I don’t go out with my friends on the 1st is because the 1st of January happens to be my father’s birthday.
I remember the last time I celebrated my father’s birthday in a big way. It was 2002. A year before he died. It was his 75th birthday, and even though he was on Dialysis for a few months then, he was fit enough to indulge in the frivolities. I remember the occasion quite well, actually! I had the entire drawing room decorated with streamers, paper chains, balloons and stuff, with a lot of help from a couple of my friends. Well, dad used to do it on the 13th of July, my birthday, every year! I could at least do it one year, couldn’t I? Dad wasn’t too pleased (outwardly) with our enthusiasm, but I can bet a million bucks that he was enjoying it as much as we were.
And dad’s birthday the next year was perhaps the worst in my memory. Don’t feel like reminiscing too much, although I guess that’s what I’m doing, isn’t it?
I was apprehending 2004, though! I really was. Since I had no idea how mom was gonna take the absence of dad on the 1st of Jan. Thankfully, she decided to turn it into a day of celebration instead of a day of mourning. She even brought home a cake; like we used to do every year… we still celebrate dad’s birthday like that! And I think it’s for the best. We got the fateful 10th of May to mourn, why ruin the 1st of January?
You know, I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like had dad been alive. What would’ve been his opinion on my studies? He actually wanted me to do an MBA, get a good job and stuff like that, and my plans are a bit different… although I still might end up doing an MBA, I don’t know! And well, my dad happened to be a hardcore Communist, a big fan of Jyoti Basu and Buddhadeb Bhattacharya as well (for his “revolutionary” concepts and cultural enthusiasm). I don’t know what his reaction would’ve been to the events of 2007. I know he would’ve condemned it, but I guess he would still try to defend his dear party on some grounds. God, I would’ve loved to have a raging argument with him on that particular subject. Only a couple of months ago, I chanced upon a cutting from an age-old Statesman, my dad’s favorite newspaper (used to be. He switched to the Telegraph in 2001). It was a letter to the editor (from my dad) criticizing the paper for its widespread anti-CPI(M) blathering, sometime during the 80s or early 90s.
My dad used to be a big movie-buff! And that was something he was pretty boastful of. He used to tell me how he used to sneak out of home when he was a teenager, stealing money from his dad’s pocket and head for a movie. I think I’ve inherited the love for movies from him. Another thing I inherited from my dad (and equally from my mom) is the love for books. I remember going to the Calcutta Book Fair every year with him and mom, even when we used to stay in Sodepur, which is an hour and a half’s journey from Calcutta. The Book Fair… that’s something that’ll always remind me of my dad.
I remember my dad having a cool sense of humor… not an outrageous one, but subtle. He could be surprisingly sarcastic (and funny) when he wanted to be so. I guess that’s something I didn’t inherit from him… since I absolutely lack the thing called a ‘sense of humor’. My dad loved music. Mostly Rabindrasangeet and Bangla Adhunik, and at times, the old Western Melodious stuff (like the Sound of Music). I wonder what he would’ve said after seeing me listening to almost everything- from his favorites to the madness of Rock, Bangla Bands (my dad didn’t like most of the fusion bands. Especially those fusing Folk with Rock. I guess I like some of them.) and everything else…
I wonder what he would’ve said if he had heard of my self-given nickname. Well, I guess he would’ve been a bit hurt if he had felt that I hate my name or something, since he named me himself… and I’ve heard, with a lot of care! Well, frankly, I don’t hate my name! It’s just that it gets irritating when some of my friends shorten it to their convenience. So, the existence of Jesse! (Unfortunately, most of my friends still call me by that “shorter” version of my name) And also because when I had that awful habit of chatting online, I coined a small nickname for me that would have a faint essence of my real name. Hope you don’t mind, dad!
There are a whole lot of things like this. We used to have a lot of debates, and the stubborn git that I was (I guess I’m still one), I never used to concede defeat. But one thing about those debates was that they were tremendously educating, to me! But I wasn’t gonna admit that to him, huh? Well, he had his opinions and I had mine… and if the two didn’t match… well, we had a hell of a time going after each other. I miss those times…
If dad would’ve been alive, he would’ve turned 80 yesterday. And if he would’ve been alive, this would’ve called for another turn of streamers and balloons. I love the phrase “Better luck next time…” and hate it when I can’t use it to my relief.
Happy Birthday, Baba!
Signing off,
-Jagannath (Jesse)
Just thinking: Why do I give phony excuses when my friends tell me to go out with them on the 1st of Jan? Probably because if I tell them it’s my dad’s birthday, they’ll definitely give me one of their ‘Oh-I’m-so-sorry’ looks (which I absolutely hate) and if I tell them that I intend to celebrate that day, with my mom and any relatives (and friends) who might drop by, they’ll probably give me their ‘That’s-so-unusual’ looks. Well, let’s just say I don’t want to be the receiver of any of those looks!
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