Tuesday, January 1, 2008

WHY THE HELL I’M AN ASS WHEN IT COMES TO CONSOLING PEOPLE?

Dec. 26, 2007: I’m a complete ASS (All in capitals) when it comes to saying some simple phony words to people just to make them feel a little better about themselves and their loved ones! It’s probably because of the term cited above- “phony”. Yup, when we say things like “It’s gonna be fine”, “Don’t worry!” these phrases have become tremendously clichéd, at least in my books! To begin with, saying something like “Don’t worry” won’t make that person stop worrying! But I guess we should still say them, for purely formality’s sake!

Down the years, I have had to listen to phrases like the ones above more than a million times. And it might’ve consoled me (very little) in the beginning, but quite soon, they started to sound so strategic, not to mention phony and clichéd again, and it reached a point where they simply became irritating!

I guess it is this feeling within me that keeps me from being more heartfelt in my outer approach towards people who are supposedly “in need” of a few phrases like those! I know, everyone might not feel the same way I do, and put up arguments like “sharing the sorrow” factor! Somehow, at the end of the day, it turns out that ultimately, the one with all the sorrow is the one who’s offered those kind words, and frankly, no one else!

I remember Std. VII or VIII, I was having exams at school, and my father was in the hospital. I had to get used to the drill of waking up, going to school, leaving off for the hospital straight after, returning home at about ten in the night, exhausted and not at all prepared for the exams the day after! And all this time, I don’t think I mentioned my daily drill to any of my school pals! During that time, my house was packed with relatives who had come over (“to share the grief”) and all they did was to rain buckets full of well-chosen and well-rehearsed (but I’m sure well-meant) phrases. Even though they were well-meant, they seemed to force the reality of the whole situation down my throat! And I certainly didn’t wish my school friends to start their own little routine!

Bottom-line: I suck at saying consolatory phrases… not in cases where the person is in need of some pep-talk, but in cases which are somewhat beyond their control. I just hope people don’t start thinking of me as a “you-know-what”…

Signing Off,
-Jagannath (Jesse)

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